You are making me crazy…why can’t we still be friends…

Sigh… My world is upside down… I’m supposed to be focused on my husband and family. However some months ago… After 25 years I didn’t something no woman does unless she is emmotionally starving. I slept with a guy that I said was to be no strings attached…just friends enjoying each other for one moment. My husband is not a fan of PDA or saying I love you. I’ve asked about it…always asking please do you love me and he jokes “olive oil”.

It had reached the point of total frustration, and Alex was there…the one who said I love you to me all the time. Said I looked beautiful and my body though a more fun figure was beautiful. He said I was his woman and I was his and he loved me. We had an amazing encounter…and damn does he have stamina… I kid you not ….but for 5 hours straight without stopping we fucked…made love, cuddled, kissed and showered together. It was out of this world!

However, now after being friends for over a year prior…and our session in New York…he has totally pulled away from me…I know…idiot…what did you expect? you must be saying…. What were you hoping for? Were you going to leave your husband and kids? And all I can say is… I don’t know what I expected…I don’t know what I expected and no I wasnt leaving my family… So why the tears you ask??

Tears because I fell in love with him. Fell in love with a man who seems to now hate talking to me more than Hi… How are you… Got to go… Bye… I don’t know what happened… He didn’t even say goodbye… Or just say let’s slow down…he simply withdrew from our relationship/friendship right after my birthday.

I feel like I’ve never gotten closer… I have so many unanswered questions… What did I do? Did you ever like me? Or love me as you said? Was I really the full woman you just wanted to fuck? Why can’t we be friends without the sex? Why do you hate me? I watch him quietly on Instagram…posting pics…seems to be on a change in his life…and it breaks my heart to see him…

What do I do? Do I block him and forget him? I’ve tried so many times over past 4 months and I keep unblocking him. Something keeps drawing me into him and its killing me inside… I need to talk to him… I need closure… Or should I just try again to block him out of my life…. Help… My heart is breaking💔… And it’s affecting me more than I care to admit… 😢

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